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Hey, Does This Look Like Anyone You Know?!?

And here Dr. Malcolm thought taking dinosaurs off Isla Sorna was the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas.

I have bad news for that unemployed architect who thinks he’s hitting the big time with his sports arena shaped like Conor McGregor’s beard: plans are already in place to erect a stadium resembling Khabib Nurmagomedov’s furry hat.

And if you’re thinking, “It’s not a hat, ignorant dumbass, it’s a papakha,” I will gladly argue the point just as soon as I finish my existing squabble with Bellator MMA correspondent, Steve Juon, over whether or not a waistcoast can be called a vest.

Anyway, Karim Zidan over at Bloody Elbow has the details on this ridiculous venue, affectionately labeled “Khabib Arena,” which will seat 7,000 sports fans and also include gyms, training facilities, a hotel, and a museum that showcases Dagestani athletes.

You know the old saying, “If you build it, they will come laugh.”

Just so we’re clear, I don’t think it’s a dumb idea to construct an arena in honor of an athlete. Heck, we have a Rocky statue just outside the Philadelphia Museum of Art. My issue is trying to make it look like a furry hat, because the spec photos instead look more like my old popcorn ceiling when my toilet started leaking.

Not surprisingly, some local residents are not in favor of the proposed eyesore venue, undoubtedly a major factor for phase two: seeking approval and funding. If and when it does come to light, maybe this wish will finally be fulfilled?!?

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More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal

Hey, guess who’s had some questionable drug tests results come back prior to his UFC 235 main event fight against Anthony Smith?

If you guessed current light-heavyweight champ and avid party animal Jon Jones… wow. How did you ever guess that?

I think it’s time we accept the fact that Jones is using a very special masking agent for his steroid use. And that masking agent is called USADA. Anyway, here’s MMAFighting:

Two Jones drug-test results from earlier this month came back positive for trace amounts of the metabolite for the prohibited steroid oral Turinabol, sources told MMA Fighting. The atypical findings stemmed from samples collected Feb. 14 and Feb. 15. The tests were administered by the Nevada Athletic Commission (NAC) and analyzed at the WADA-accredited SMRTL lab in Salt Lake City.

This is the same long-term metabolite — 4-chloro-18-nor-17β-hydroxymethyl,17α-methyl-5α-androst-13-en-3α-ol (M3) (or DHMCT) — that experts believe has been in Jones’ system for at least more than a year. Jones will be cleared to fight by the NAC, because experts believe this is the same long-term metabolite found in Jones’ system in relation to UFC 214 in July 2017 and he was already suspended 15 months by USADA, the UFC’s anti-doping partner, for that violation.

Jones, 31, also tested clean with no presence of the M3 metabolite multiple times since he beat Alexander Gustafsson to win back the UFC light heavyweight title at UFC 232 on Dec. 29.

The Feb. 14 sample came back with 40 picograms per milliliter of DHCMT and the Feb. 15 sample back with 20 picograms per milliliter. Experts have said the amount of picograms is largely irrelevant. The more significant indicator is that it’s the long-term metabolite and not anything shorter term, experts have said.

The post More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal appeared first on Caged Insider.

Caged Insider

More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal

Hey, guess who’s had some questionable drug tests results come back prior to his UFC 235 main event fight against Anthony Smith?

If you guessed current light-heavyweight champ and avid party animal Jon Jones… wow. How did you ever guess that?

I think it’s time we accept the fact that Jones is using a very special masking agent for his steroid use. And that masking agent is called USADA. Anyway, here’s MMAFighting:

Two Jones drug-test results from earlier this month came back positive for trace amounts of the metabolite for the prohibited steroid oral Turinabol, sources told MMA Fighting. The atypical findings stemmed from samples collected Feb. 14 and Feb. 15. The tests were administered by the Nevada Athletic Commission (NAC) and analyzed at the WADA-accredited SMRTL lab in Salt Lake City.

This is the same long-term metabolite — 4-chloro-18-nor-17β-hydroxymethyl,17α-methyl-5α-androst-13-en-3α-ol (M3) (or DHMCT) — that experts believe has been in Jones’ system for at least more than a year. Jones will be cleared to fight by the NAC, because experts believe this is the same long-term metabolite found in Jones’ system in relation to UFC 214 in July 2017 and he was already suspended 15 months by USADA, the UFC’s anti-doping partner, for that violation.

Jones, 31, also tested clean with no presence of the M3 metabolite multiple times since he beat Alexander Gustafsson to win back the UFC light heavyweight title at UFC 232 on Dec. 29.

The Feb. 14 sample came back with 40 picograms per milliliter of DHCMT and the Feb. 15 sample back with 20 picograms per milliliter. Experts have said the amount of picograms is largely irrelevant. The more significant indicator is that it’s the long-term metabolite and not anything shorter term, experts have said.

The post More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal appeared first on Caged Insider.

Caged Insider

More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal

Hey, guess who’s had some questionable drug tests results come back prior to his UFC 235 main event fight against Anthony Smith?

If you guessed current light-heavyweight champ and avid party animal Jon Jones… wow. How did you ever guess that?

I think it’s time we accept the fact that Jones is using a very special masking agent for his steroid use. And that masking agent is called USADA. Anyway, here’s MMAFighting:

Two Jones drug-test results from earlier this month came back positive for trace amounts of the metabolite for the prohibited steroid oral Turinabol, sources told MMA Fighting. The atypical findings stemmed from samples collected Feb. 14 and Feb. 15. The tests were administered by the Nevada Athletic Commission (NAC) and analyzed at the WADA-accredited SMRTL lab in Salt Lake City.

This is the same long-term metabolite — 4-chloro-18-nor-17β-hydroxymethyl,17α-methyl-5α-androst-13-en-3α-ol (M3) (or DHMCT) — that experts believe has been in Jones’ system for at least more than a year. Jones will be cleared to fight by the NAC, because experts believe this is the same long-term metabolite found in Jones’ system in relation to UFC 214 in July 2017 and he was already suspended 15 months by USADA, the UFC’s anti-doping partner, for that violation.

Jones, 31, also tested clean with no presence of the M3 metabolite multiple times since he beat Alexander Gustafsson to win back the UFC light heavyweight title at UFC 232 on Dec. 29.

The Feb. 14 sample came back with 40 picograms per milliliter of DHCMT and the Feb. 15 sample back with 20 picograms per milliliter. Experts have said the amount of picograms is largely irrelevant. The more significant indicator is that it’s the long-term metabolite and not anything shorter term, experts have said.

The post More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal appeared first on Caged Insider.

Caged Insider

More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal

Hey, guess who’s had some questionable drug tests results come back prior to his UFC 235 main event fight against Anthony Smith?

If you guessed current light-heavyweight champ and avid party animal Jon Jones… wow. How did you ever guess that?

I think it’s time we accept the fact that Jones is using a very special masking agent for his steroid use. And that masking agent is called USADA. Anyway, here’s MMAFighting:

Two Jones drug-test results from earlier this month came back positive for trace amounts of the metabolite for the prohibited steroid oral Turinabol, sources told MMA Fighting. The atypical findings stemmed from samples collected Feb. 14 and Feb. 15. The tests were administered by the Nevada Athletic Commission (NAC) and analyzed at the WADA-accredited SMRTL lab in Salt Lake City.

This is the same long-term metabolite — 4-chloro-18-nor-17β-hydroxymethyl,17α-methyl-5α-androst-13-en-3α-ol (M3) (or DHMCT) — that experts believe has been in Jones’ system for at least more than a year. Jones will be cleared to fight by the NAC, because experts believe this is the same long-term metabolite found in Jones’ system in relation to UFC 214 in July 2017 and he was already suspended 15 months by USADA, the UFC’s anti-doping partner, for that violation.

Jones, 31, also tested clean with no presence of the M3 metabolite multiple times since he beat Alexander Gustafsson to win back the UFC light heavyweight title at UFC 232 on Dec. 29.

The Feb. 14 sample came back with 40 picograms per milliliter of DHCMT and the Feb. 15 sample back with 20 picograms per milliliter. Experts have said the amount of picograms is largely irrelevant. The more significant indicator is that it’s the long-term metabolite and not anything shorter term, experts have said.

The post More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal appeared first on Caged Insider.

Caged Insider

More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal

Hey, guess who’s had some questionable drug tests results come back prior to his UFC 235 main event fight against Anthony Smith?

If you guessed current light-heavyweight champ and avid party animal Jon Jones… wow. How did you ever guess that?

I think it’s time we accept the fact that Jones is using a very special masking agent for his steroid use. And that masking agent is called USADA. Anyway, here’s MMAFighting:

Two Jones drug-test results from earlier this month came back positive for trace amounts of the metabolite for the prohibited steroid oral Turinabol, sources told MMA Fighting. The atypical findings stemmed from samples collected Feb. 14 and Feb. 15. The tests were administered by the Nevada Athletic Commission (NAC) and analyzed at the WADA-accredited SMRTL lab in Salt Lake City.

This is the same long-term metabolite — 4-chloro-18-nor-17β-hydroxymethyl,17α-methyl-5α-androst-13-en-3α-ol (M3) (or DHMCT) — that experts believe has been in Jones’ system for at least more than a year. Jones will be cleared to fight by the NAC, because experts believe this is the same long-term metabolite found in Jones’ system in relation to UFC 214 in July 2017 and he was already suspended 15 months by USADA, the UFC’s anti-doping partner, for that violation.

Jones, 31, also tested clean with no presence of the M3 metabolite multiple times since he beat Alexander Gustafsson to win back the UFC light heavyweight title at UFC 232 on Dec. 29.

The Feb. 14 sample came back with 40 picograms per milliliter of DHCMT and the Feb. 15 sample back with 20 picograms per milliliter. Experts have said the amount of picograms is largely irrelevant. The more significant indicator is that it’s the long-term metabolite and not anything shorter term, experts have said.

The post More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal appeared first on Caged Insider.

Caged Insider

More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal

Hey, guess who’s had some questionable drug tests results come back prior to his UFC 235 main event fight against Anthony Smith?

If you guessed current light-heavyweight champ and avid party animal Jon Jones… wow. How did you ever guess that?

I think it’s time we accept the fact that Jones is using a very special masking agent for his steroid use. And that masking agent is called USADA. Anyway, here’s MMAFighting:

Two Jones drug-test results from earlier this month came back positive for trace amounts of the metabolite for the prohibited steroid oral Turinabol, sources told MMA Fighting. The atypical findings stemmed from samples collected Feb. 14 and Feb. 15. The tests were administered by the Nevada Athletic Commission (NAC) and analyzed at the WADA-accredited SMRTL lab in Salt Lake City.

This is the same long-term metabolite — 4-chloro-18-nor-17β-hydroxymethyl,17α-methyl-5α-androst-13-en-3α-ol (M3) (or DHMCT) — that experts believe has been in Jones’ system for at least more than a year. Jones will be cleared to fight by the NAC, because experts believe this is the same long-term metabolite found in Jones’ system in relation to UFC 214 in July 2017 and he was already suspended 15 months by USADA, the UFC’s anti-doping partner, for that violation.

Jones, 31, also tested clean with no presence of the M3 metabolite multiple times since he beat Alexander Gustafsson to win back the UFC light heavyweight title at UFC 232 on Dec. 29.

The Feb. 14 sample came back with 40 picograms per milliliter of DHCMT and the Feb. 15 sample back with 20 picograms per milliliter. Experts have said the amount of picograms is largely irrelevant. The more significant indicator is that it’s the long-term metabolite and not anything shorter term, experts have said.

The post More Shady Drug Test Results From Jon Jones, But This Is the New Normal appeared first on Caged Insider.

Caged Insider

Georges St. Pierre to Retire… Again… For Real This Time

Long lost Canadian superstar Georges St. Pierre will allegedly announce his retirement tomorrow in a press conference. What’s that you say? The dude already retired before? Twice, actually? Yeah, I know. I’m having a hard time accepting this gesture as real, too.

Regardless, GSP is still some type of star, so this is apparently newsworthy.

Here’s ESPN:

Georges St-Pierre, arguably the greatest mixed martial arts fighter of all time, is set to retire, though lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov has made a last-ditch effort to get St-Pierre to reconsider.

Sources confirmed to ESPN that St-Pierre will announce his retirement at a news conference in Montreal on Thursday morning. RDS, a French-language sports network in Quebec, first reported that St-Pierre would be retiring.

St-Pierre, 37, had hoped to secure a fight against Nurmagomedov later this year, sources said. But as a deal wasn’t materializing, the longtime welterweight champion decided it was time to walk away.

UFC is aware of St-Pierre’s decision and is helping to organize the news conference, sources said.

The post Georges St. Pierre to Retire… Again… For Real This Time appeared first on Caged Insider.

Caged Insider

Georges St. Pierre to Retire… Again… For Real This Time

Long lost Canadian superstar Georges St. Pierre will allegedly announce his retirement tomorrow in a press conference. What’s that you say? The dude already retired before? Twice, actually? Yeah, I know. I’m having a hard time accepting this gesture as real, too.

Regardless, GSP is still some type of star, so this is apparently newsworthy.

Here’s ESPN:

Georges St-Pierre, arguably the greatest mixed martial arts fighter of all time, is set to retire, though lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov has made a last-ditch effort to get St-Pierre to reconsider.

Sources confirmed to ESPN that St-Pierre will announce his retirement at a news conference in Montreal on Thursday morning. RDS, a French-language sports network in Quebec, first reported that St-Pierre would be retiring.

St-Pierre, 37, had hoped to secure a fight against Nurmagomedov later this year, sources said. But as a deal wasn’t materializing, the longtime welterweight champion decided it was time to walk away.

UFC is aware of St-Pierre’s decision and is helping to organize the news conference, sources said.

The post Georges St. Pierre to Retire… Again… For Real This Time appeared first on Caged Insider.

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Pic! The Aftermath Of This Invicta FC 34 Eye Poke Is Horrifying

Last night’s mixed martial arts (MMA) action did not end all that well.

Not only did Matt Mitrione’s main event clash with Sergei Kharitonov at Bellator 215 end in 15 seconds thanks to an accidental low blow, but Vanessa Porto’s flyweight title fight opposite UFC veteran Pearl Gonzalez at Invicta FC 34 ended early as well due to an accidental eye poke.

Despite getting poked in the eye in the fourth round and eventually being ruled unable to continue, Porto still walked away with the technical decision after the action hit the judges’ scorecards. It wasn’t the best way to capture the vacant 125-pound title, but Porto was handily winning the fight up until that point anyways.

Fight fans may have been rubbed the wrong way by the fourth-round stoppage, but one look at Porto’s eye after the fight and it’s easy to see why the bout was waved off. Luckily, the Brazilian veteran shared the aftermath with fight fans with the following Instagram post:

That’s not the way the human eye is supposed to look, especially the part of Porto’s eyelid that looks like it’s missing a meaty chunk. The puss is just icing on the cake.

Luckily, Porto didn’t suffer any long-term damage to her eye and will be able to get back into the cage later this year to defend her newly-acquired flyweight title. This was her third shot at Invicta FC gold so she was willing to fight through anything to get that belt.

Gonzalez posted the following image on her Twitter account after the fight to show her respect for Porto:

I guess there’s no hard feelings for nearly taking an eye out.

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